IDENTITY
Marc=)
Canoeist since 2000
Ex-HCJC(or HCI for that matter)
04S69
Singapore
COPYRIGHT © MATCHSTIX06
Marc=)
Canoeist since 2000
Ex-HCJC(or HCI for that matter)
04S69
Singapore
COPYRIGHT © MATCHSTIX06
=The Question Mark=
Song ringing in my head:
Love In The First Degree by Bananarama
Cocktail that I'm longing for:
Flaming Lamboghini
Last night I was dreaming
I was locked in a prison cell
When I woke up I was screaming
Calling out your name
And the judge and the jury
They all put the blame on me
They wanna tell from my story
They want to hear my plea
Only you can set me free
'Cause I'm guilty
Guilty as a girl can be
Come on baby can't you see
I stand accused
Of love in the first degree
Heard this song whilst in the gym today! Reminds me so much of Zouk Wednesday Mambo Nights..omg..wonder when's the next time I can ever go man..It's seriously the only clubbing nights that I really enjoyed myself..Went to a somewhat similar atmosphere which is MoS's retro room..somewhat only..but I don't think it was as fun as those that I went to at Zouk! Ahhh!
This is your friendly cabin captain speaking. As there are many clouds ahead of our journey, turbulence is to be expected. Kindly put on your seat belts and refrain from moving about. We thank you for your utmost co-operation.
=The Elusion=
Song ringing in my head:
She Will Be Loved from the album Songs About Jane by Maroon 5
Looking out of my window at this time, it is raining heavily. The current weather seems to be a complement of my thoughts; thoughts of giving up. At the same time, my Maroon 5 CD was playing, and it came to this song.
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
I don't mind spending every day
out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
Suddenly those thoughts seem to vanish in mid-air..and it felt as if I drank some warm potion down..I think I've changed my mind..maybe not..maybe not after all...
But what the? There should be more important things on my mind than such complex issues. Like the advice your tutors always give you: skip those questions you don't know! Do those questions you got confidence in!
You need to concentrate, concentrate with all your might...
=The Unforgivable Curse=
Song ringing in my head:
One Last Breath from the album Weathered by Creed
[Note: This entry was replicated from memory because of my extreme stupidity that made me accidentally delete the original entry, hence the exact sentiments may not actually represent that in the sceneraio. Yes, I'm very very pissed and angry about it, because in my own perspective the original one was much better.]
I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
I thought that I could start afresh, as long as I could find the courage to do so. Apparently, I was so wrong. I was condemned, just like I was condemned for my academic studies(which I nonetheless claim 101% responsibility for and that I have no one else to blame but myself).
I thought that as long as I leave my past behind and learn from the experiences, everything will be ok. I was wrong, AGAIN.
I thought that it all ended long ago, but I was wrong, for what the 3rd time? People don't seem to care how long ago it happened..as long it happened. So what now? Do I still have any way out?
He who controls the present, controls the past.
He who controls the past, controls the future.
-George Orwell
Through the mist I could see 2 dark shadowy figures surrounded with a green aura that instilled fear in my heart.
As they approached, one of them whipped out a wand.
I looked behind me, it was a cliff. I was cornered.
Without hesitation, I dived.
I thought maybe six feet, ain't so far down.
But it was all too late, in mid-air, I could hear her, an all too familiar voice, one that was so dear to me, whisper: avada kedabra...
=The Imposters=
Song ringing in my head:
Tell Me Baby from the album Stadium Arcadium by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Omg at this rate I think I'm gonna hafta buy the album by my favourite band RHCP(as my close friends would know! To those who don't, now you do!)
Tell me baby what's your story
Where you come from
And where you wanna go this time
You're so lovely are you lonely
Giving up on the innocence you left behind
Started off my day quite badly by ruining somebody's and having bad dreams. Quite dumb right? It's like kicking yourself in the balls. Ouch. Not say I intended to ruin that person's day, it was purely unintentional, thought I could just speak about what was on my mind. Apparently that backfired. Very badly. Well, seems like I never seem to learn this lesson, nevermind. Point strongly taken: Never let others know how you truly feel. Somethings are seriously better off not knowing.
If only you knew the power you behold
Never underestimate your abilities:
For your actions might lift me up to the highest altitude, or accidentally(or intentionally) banish me to the lowest and deepest levels of hell.
I can only hope one day you'll learn to use your powers wisely, or pray that the dimensions of time will slowly but indefinitely diminish your abilities.
With great powers come great responsibilities
I must admit that it has been quite some time, coupled with a very poor photographic memory, it required some effort to identfiy you. However to me there will be some memories that will never change.
Present Time: 1842
The usual Sunday night blues, except today it's a Monday. Maybe it's a good thing after all, since I'm losing my sense of direction in the civilian world, this would keep me focused on my occupation. Professionalism. That's what I need to have. Maybe I should have just stayed in Brunei, with just trees, more trees, and more trees and me. I can only just hope, waiting for signs of a miracle to appear. Hope is what keeps us alive, but it can't accomplish anything. Damn, I just hope that I don't start hating the weekends. Touch wood...
=The Interview=
In conjucture with the launch of this blog, www.flamboyancyatitsbest.blogspot.com, we have managed to secure an exclusive interview with the author of this blog, Marc=)(also the previous author of his blog at www.thekaleidoscope.blogspot.com). Eager to find out more about him, we've also gathered some questions from his close friends that they would very much like to ask. Following is the interview we had with him:
Interviewer: Hi good morning! Glad to have you here with us!
Marc=): It's my pleasure
Interviewer: As you know, it's such an rare opportunity for such an interview to happen. What made you do this?
Marc=): [gives a confused look] is it such an rare opportunity? [laughs] Nah, thought while launching my new blog I could also let my readers take the opportunity to get to know me better...
Interviewer: Ok..to start things off..Why this new blog?
Marc=): Hmmm..Ok first up, maybe I would like to explain the rationale of me blogging in the first place. My intention is to create a place where I'm able to store my thoughts and the significant events that happened in my life. Then I've got feedback(or rather lots of similar ones) telling me hey Marc your entries are very cryptic we don't understand whatever you're talking about. And I most probably dismiss those remarks saying no la..if you know what's going on you would know what I'm blogging about.
Next, I regard blogs as phases in my life. If you guys happen to be viewing my blog from the very first day, you would have seen my first blog Life Got Cold changed to thekaleidoscope after some time. Furthermore, if you were observant enough, you have noticed that the writing style changed somehow. I started blogging by stating what happened in my daily life, but after some time this thought crossed by mind: No this is wrong..Why would people actually read or actually wanna know what's going on with your daily life? ie. the nitty gritty details (ok maybe now i realised that people do that to kill boredom). Let you on a little secret: the launch of this blog is long long overdue, in fact its launch has been postponing and postponing and now, I can't take it any longer. I say, "Fine! Let's do this."
Interviewer: Interesting! And now what can the readers expect about this blog?
Marc=): I think they can expect less cryptic entries(while others write more cryptic ones? [laughs]like my dear friend Nelson (silent-jealousy.blogspot.com)), more details about what's happening in my life, and maybe some photo-whoring! [gives an evil grin]
Interviewer: Whoa! Certainly something new eh? Ok we noticed you like to include loads of lyrics on your old blog, any particular reasons?
Marc=): [a slight pause] Songs are what I use to express my current emotions for any given point of time. I believe everyone or at least for most have a song that they would like to listen at a given mood. And somewhat coincidentally, sometimes these songs and their lyrics are able to express me better than anything else. So there you've it!
Interviewer: Seriously? Whoa..that was cheem! Hmmm..I think the following is a question that everybody is interested in..Are you currently attached?
Marc=): [laughs]What?
Interviewer: You seem to be avoiding me on this!
Marc=): [gives a slight irritated look] Hell no! I just feel that there's no need to publicise my current status! [beams]
Interviewer: Some of your friends however, are very curious about your previous relationship. Would you care to share more about it?
Marc=): Hmmm..about this..[a slight pause] I would say that the relationship didn't work out the way we wanted it to be. People usually ask me hey what happen ah? Why things like that? The truth is: I would very much want to know myself why things are like that. But after some thorough consideration, I realised sometimes we do not have to know why. For example, I presume many of us have taken Physics or Mathematics before and that once or twice you will come across a theory that you don't understand. After many explanations by your classmates or your caring lecturers, sometimes it is just easier to accept it as it is and not keep questioning why. I'm not saying we should do this, but rather at times by doing so is a better choice. In this case I feel that it is indeed a better choice. Sometimes somethings aren't worth knowing.
Interviewer: Meanwhile how are you dealing with this failed relationship?
Marc=): Initially there tend to be emotional instabilities but now it is much more stable. Improving everyday I guess, time is the healer of all wounds isn't it? I hope we're both able to let go of it as soon as possible and get on with our own lives. I would very much like to see her getting together with some guy whom she really loves and who loves her as much if not even more. It's not about being all that great or noble, but what you really want for her. I've known of some people who aren't that happy of me because of this incident, but I would also like them to know that that to me it isn't much of a paramount importance. Afterall, this is ultimately about me and her, not them.
Interviewer: Yeah, I guess a failed relationship always brings around much unnecessary unhappiness. But it's okay! I wish you both parties all the best!
Marc=): Thank you very much.
Interviewer: Ok! Now let's go on to another question. What are the challenges you're facing in life right now?
Marc=): Challenges? I think one very great challenge I face in life now is time. It's not directly about the lack of time though. Rather, I feel that time is passing by so quickly that I can hardly register of what's going on! One person was able to define it quite well; Time is what you are able to make the best out of what you have remaining. And I believe that there is where the crux of the challenge lies in. Sometimes when we try to multi-task or attempt to accomplish that phrase to the fullest, we tend to neglect the simplest or purest aspect of life. For me, I strongly believe there are others out there experiencing the same thing but are either innocently igonorant of it or choose to dismiss it as a groundless theory. I can state numerous examples, ie. To save time on transport, we might choose the quickiest way to get there, which is most probably a taxi. By doing so, we are in another words, choosing the shortest route possible. In the midst we're missing out on the beauty of life, the scenery, in particular little little details that make out our society. This theory of course is invalid in the presence of abundance of time, because what mentioned here is closely related to lives like mine, so little time but so many things to do. Except what's happening to me is in a macro sense. It's exasperating and frustrating!
The words on the advertisement actually says: The biggest luxury would be to have more time to see more of the world. But actually, who bothers to see this advertisement in the first place?
[takes a sip of water]
Another challenge in my life is the fact that everyone is leading their own lives. This is somewhat inevitable and we saw it coming at one point or another, maybe we chose to ignore it again then, but definitely the effect is present at this very moment. The girls have just started school at university, where they are most likely to meet new friends, be busy with their studies in short university lives. On the other hand the people from Mars are currently serving their dues the Singaporean style in different ways ie. different units. If anybody is unfamiliar with the NS system it would probably mean that everybody has different bookout timings, and not to forget that they would probably have made new friends too. It is virtually impossible for everybody to meet. However, sometimes this becomes a blessing in disguise, because such obstacles are able to differentiate(not dy/dx) which friendships are the long-lasting ones and which are the hi-bye affairs. Again, some people might tend to dismiss my theories as invalid and ridiculous, but whether they choose to live in reality or still stuck in their reverie I'll leave it up to them. In fact I'm indeed curious to know what do others think about I just shared.
Interviewer: Hmmm..that was some thought-provoking effect you had there.
Marc=): I hope it will have the same effect to those who will be reading this.
Interviewer: Certainly certainly. Let's have a short little break before we continue on shall we?
*
Interviewer: Hey Marc=), welcome back. Now maybe let's proceed on to the questions that the readers have for you.
Marc=): Can't be any more excited to hear them.
Interviewer: There's one here by the name of Tay Lide. He would like to ask this; If you had to be brutally honest with me, what is one thing you must tell me? And another one! Have you found, or ever thought to have found, some meaning in your life?
Marc=): [laughs] I've earlier kinda expected him to ask this kinda questions one! Hey Lide, you've proven me right! =D Ok, starting with the first question. I know you and I have some misunderstandings every now and then due to our differences in lifestyle, thinking, mindset etc. And I don't know if you always liked to joke about that one incident where I "lied" to you to "conceal" my plans or whether you were truly serious about it. I just wanna let YOU to know that you'll always be my good friend, and you can depend on me whenever wherever. Plus I wanna let you know that I didn't meant to deceive you that time. All this while I truly seek your forgiveness, since the whole entire thing which it revolved around has already ended.
Now on to the second question: I had always believe at different points of our lives, we thought we have found to have some meaning in our lives, whether it is in something or in somebody, in which it is different for every individual. It is always changing because of our youth, but as we progress further in life, we get exposed to many different things in life, which are never-ending. Hence, these meanings tend to change at time. I know for others, some found meanings in their partners, some so extreme that they were willing to change everything for them. For me, at one point of time I found mine in Canoeing, because it changed me signficantly. Never had I found so much motivation elsewhere to do well in Canoeing. There was this time if you guys still remember when I was complaining about the lack of time, of about how I was unable to spend time with my dearest friends who have never ceased to give me support all this time through, of about how I was unable to enjoy life etc. However, I guess without this "meaning" at all, I wouldn't be able to pull through this very difficult phase.
Pain is temporary, but pride, honour, and glory is for eternity
The euphoria of getting what you want can never be expressed by any amount of words
Interviewer: Lide I hope he has answered your questions well! Another question for you, this one slightly ambiguous: Do you think you're a good person?
Marc=): [laughs] By ambiguous I think you meant by ambiguous in capital letters! This question is definitely a mind-boggling one. Hmmm..Ok let me phrase it in this way: By good you mean morally good in this context? Let me not make it sound like a GP essay. Here goes...I don't think i'm that good a person and I don't think everyone else is, because of the well-known saying: Nobody is perfect. However what's important is that we are aware of our individual shortcomings, and what and how we intend to do about it. We should maybe follow this very simple rule? Do anything that doesn't cause harm to others in the proces aka as negative externalities.
Interviewer: Now that was an ambiguous answer you have there as well! You ready for the next? What is the one thing you have done that you're most guilty of?
Marc=): Hmmm..this is a difficult question! Wah why so cruel to me! [laughs] In this 19 years I been through there have been several mistakes I've made, mostly purely unintentional and just for the name of fun and I've mostly put this behind me. Maybe I can quote the most recent example? I hope you're ok with it...As you know what happened to me on the first of April 2006. After that incident I realised that what I had done wasn't of any use, instead I was a burden to my friends then. I feel very remorseful of it, and I think the people that were most hurt were my parents. I did so without actually considering the consequences to others. I truly realised afterwards that everything isn't about me, it's about the people who are genuinely concerned about me. Imagine seeing someone you've taken care for 19 years and counting or having gone through a friendship of several years being tormented and having to suffer? I guess if I were a spectator then I would be very disappointed with myself.
Interviewer: Guess something bad really happened to you then eh? Do remember to take care in future! Now the next question, this one about your NSF life, he would like to ask you: Hows life being a commando officer and whether you feel very proud to be one?
Marc=): I have a strong gut feeling telling me who asked this question! [gives a hearty laugh] But I think he meant how is it like training to be one, cause I'm no officer yet! Well, all I can say is we all should learn as much as we can, because being an officer isn't all about getting that "One Chocolate Bar" on your shoulders. Rather it is about(let me quote excerpts from the Officer's Creed) leading your men by example, serving with dignity and pride and overcoming adversities with fortitude and determination. Some might pass a remark saying Wah officer good lehs..got so much pay.. In actual fact, I don't think it's about the money at all for that is secondary, it's about the responsibilities we carry with us and the abilities to lead our men in battle. About being in the Commando formation, I would think it's another unit with our own unique specialisations. I wouldn't exactly term myself as elite, but that is what our unit is about. I wouldn't also like to portray ourselves as the best, but that is what we certainly want to achieve. And of course as such I'm proud to belong to this Formation. For Honour and Glory!
Interviewer: That was a very inspirational talk you had there! I think this is all about the questions we've from you. I hope through this interview you readers have been able to understand Marc=) a step further. Thank you very much for your time once again!
Marc=): The pleasure's mine.
For those close readers who haven't had their turn to pose any burning questions to the author may do so by contacting him directly.